When Bad Parenting goes Bad

I call my daughter 'chicken'. I used to call her 'little chick' and then she hit a growth spurt, so the name evolved. The fact that she's a flapper when she gets excited only helps.

I taught my daughter to play Magic the Gathering. This is a collectible card game that took off back in 1995. Usually anyone under 13 doesn't really 'get' the strategy and intricacies of the game. Elise got it at 9.

Every Friday night I take Elise to a game store in Providence RI and we play in their small Magic tournament. Elise has to handle enforced social interaction, people messing with her plans, and being stomped my players literally five times her age. It's a great experience for her, and for me. I get to see my little chicken interact in this tiny microcosm of adult nerds, and for the most part she does well.

There's still the problem of the phrase "maybe I shouldn't talk about that" never passing through her brain. Elise will happily chat about any subject, and cheerfully ignore any and all cues that perhaps this isn't a good idea.

One time, against a guy in his 30s, she quotes from a TV show. The joke is funny. Her opponent asks where the quote is from.

"Family Guy" she says. "It's my favourite show!"

Now I get the stare. This is the stare I get from other parents, some of them relatives, that says "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You let her watch Family Guy?" he says to me.

"Yes. Yes I do." Now at this point I don't feel like I should have to explain myself. I'm her father. I'm allowed to make decisions like that. However, this guy is a friend. I decide to indulge him. "I'm familiar with all of the episodes and I don't let her watch anything too bad." This answer is satisfactory.

Until Elise says: "My Dad downloaded the episode that was banned in America and let me watch it. It was all about abortion."

Sigh.

You see, there was a recent episode of Family Guy that Fox refused to air. They paid for it, but they opted to not show it. The episode aired in every other country, but nt here (since the US is so sickeningly prudish). All this guy heard was that there was a Family Guy episode that dealt with abortion, and I let my little angel watch it. Because I'm an awful father.

What actually happened was this: Elise heard that there was a banned episode, and she begged me to download it. I found the episode online, but instead of simply allowing Elise to view it, I watched it with my wife so we could gauge just how bad this episode was.

Turns out this episode of Family Guy dealt with the subject of abortion with remarkable sensitivity. They introduced a difficult subject, and talked about it like we were all adults. The only controversy here was an overreaction by Fox. As a writer myself, I can say that this was probably the most well-written episode of Family Guy ever, and it's a real disservice to everyone involved that Fox denied these creative people an opportunity to show off their talented writing staff. Boo Fox.

So I allowed Elise to watch it. And she did. As a parent I feel like it's my responsibility to expose her to things that will help her deal with the world. My greatest asset is my sense of humour. It lets me observe, process and understand the world in a way that I can't easily describe. Humour disarms people and diffuses bad situations. There were so many bad things that happened in my life, and if it weren't for comedy I think I'd be rocking back and forth in a padded room somewhere.

Elise is constantly exposed to good, well-written comedy. Shows like Family Guy and South Park repeatedly get a beating in the press. Idiots like the Parent's television Council want to have these shows removed from the airwaves, denying us even the choice of some of the best comedy America can generate. The PTC specifically want to be able to sit their kids down in front of the TV and leave them to it. They don't think parents should be at all responsible for the things their kids are watching. The irony here is that they would be the first to call me a bad parent.

I have always taken an active interest in where my children find their entertainment. If they like a show, I watch the show. If they play a video game, I play it too. Every single thing they do in their leisure time has, at one point or another, been evaluated by me or Karen.

I know that I will have to endure people staring at me, trying to decide whether or not to call child services (or just beat me with a shovel). Friends, relatives and strangers will make judgements without giving me a chance to respond. I'm sure that there are literally dozens of people that have written me off as a bad parent.

I find myself not giving a shit about any of them. There's only one person whose opinion matters, and right now she's dancing around upstairs shouting "Victory is mine!"

PS, A quick word about downloading. I don't usually condone this. There's enough free TV on cable and the internet to keep my interest. Sometimes there's a weird thing that I'm (by some chance or design) denied the opportunity to see. In this case I'll download an episode. If Fox had aired it I would have watched it on Fox, seen their commercials, and purchased the products within. I'm a fair man, after all.